Things you NEVER say to a Plumber
1.Are all service people ignorant people, or do only ignorant people become servicepeople?
2.It must be a good thing to be making a decent living from your trade, considering your limited education (spoken to an newly registered craftsman plumber/gasfitter)
3.Will you take this off your books, and come back later and do it on your own time for half price? (Unknowingly asked of the owner of the company)
4.Geez! I’m a doctor/lawyer/accountant/dentist, and I don’t charge this much an hour!
5.$5.53 for parts, and $75.00 for an hour’s labour? I could do it cheaper than that myself!
6.If you don’t re-landscape my backyard and make it look it look precisely like you found it, before you had to dig my yard up to find that broken pipe that was making my yard a swamp and making my water meter spin like a top for the past few days, and I mean you’ll leave not a trace of mud or exposed dirt anywhere, I’ll sue, I’ll swear I sue!
7.Either you fix this tap/leak/blockage for free, or I’ll call your boss and falsely accuse you of stealing something, and have you fired.
8.Aw, c’mon, pretty please, I didn’t mean it quite that way, won’t you please fix that tap/leak/blockage for free for me, just because I’m such a nice person? Your boss’ll never know, promise!
9.I know what kind of people you service people are….I’m getting short on pot, and my dealer got busted a couple of days ago…know anyone I can score some weed from?
10.Wanna hear a funny joke?…once, there was this honest service person….
